Pluto Wants You To Be Brave

The more I don’t deny death, the richer and more fabulous my life becomes. Denying death means, unavoidably, denying life, because we cannot define one without the other, they are an inseparable pair.

For me death denial shows up as avoiding. I’m usually not directly, consciously avoiding death. But I’m avoiding the parts of life, people, interactions (with myself and others) which my mind imagines might be unpleasant, or awkward, or uncomfortable.* 

It appears to me right now that a predominant unspoken story of how to do life as an adult in the united states in this era is to wield your powers to try to orchestrate and control as many aspects of your life as you can, and this pursuit is what brings happiness and success. Success is almost always a synonym for happiness in this story. The story also says that if you are unhappy, if you experience suffering or not knowing how to do things, you are not succeeding. The summary of the cultural story as I see it is basically like: avoid the “bad,” and chase the “good.” My experience of trying to live this story is exhaustion and overwhelm and burn out.

My experience is also that happiness arises when I surrender control of circumstances. When I remember I am not in charge, and that is a relief. Happiness arises when I remember this cultural story of what life is for, is not my story of what life is for.

It’s a paradox! When I remember I am not in charge, I become in charge of what I can be in charge of. And magically, sometimes, in charge of more than I thought! But the point is not even to be in charge of more! The point is to be in awe of how surrendering is a really vital action!

Enter Pluto! Pluto is in the mix in this conversation. Pluto is a divine guide in this realm of death denial I am talking about. One of the immanent teachers, we could say! Pluto shows us how to surrender.

Usually by taking or completely rearranging circumstances, people, places. By dredging up all sorts of stuff from all sorts of pasts. Pluto exposes power dynamics in ourselves, and in our relationships, that have been hidden. Pluto wants you to get to the bottom of it. Pluto wants you to be brave. Pluto wants you to to be brave so that you can get free.

Pluto will settle for nothing less than total transformation.

And if you can’t be brave, Pluto says it’s okay. They will show you how and where to find your bravery, usually in a place you thought was empty because you hadn’t looked closely enough.

Pluto invites us—often demands—that we give up an outdated way of seeing what life is for. Pluto says, life is infinitely richer and more fabulous and terrible than you thought. Pluto shows us how to re-orient away from this cultural story that life is for arranging circumstances for comfort, and points us toward the freedom available in seeing difficulty as doorways to more access to love.

Frantically arranging circumstances is quintessential death denial activity for me.

Spending my life force energy looking for how the circumstances are perfect ones for me to awaken within already, frees me up for a much more interesting and enriching life.

And perhaps most importantly, it helps me switch from the question, Why is this happening to me? to What do I have available to offer others? Because when I am trusting that these questions and struggles are the only ones I need, I don’t miss the support I am receiving and I am instantaneously, profoundly more resourced. What arises when I am more resourced is overflowing love. I begin again (and again, and again) to look around and see about what I might offer!

And I’m not doing that because it’s “right” or “good,” or makes me a “good person,” I’m doing it because it just feels incredibly, massively better as a way to engage with this life in front of me.

Pluto visits us all in the entrance to midlife, at the late 30s early 40s. It also visits us variably in many other times throughout our lives, depending on the specificity of our charts. But regardless of what you know about Pluto transits, you can access and benefit from this guide Pluto right now, just in the mental shift from fear and avoidance to I’m here for it. I don’t understand it all, but I don’t need to, I’m here to be transformed. That kind of vibe.

I offer this for your consideration. Many blessings to you wherever you are in all of this, or out of it!

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*I am not alone in this, and have been immensely helped by many others who also do this avoiding and many other habits of mind that are painful, over at Codependent’s Anonymous. Deep gratitude for the magic collective conjuring that is CoDA.

(See also : Death is The Opposite Of Leaving by Andrea Gibson. In fact maybe we should just read it 10 times over this winter and call this series done!)