I have become willing to be audacious
I’m personally past the season of conception, but I think about the two-week wait a lot lately. In case you haven’t come across this life experience / vernacular, the “two-week wait” is the time between when you try to conceive and when you find out when you are pregnant. Two weeks feels like a very casual amount of time, until you are waiting to find out something so big as to whether you might be pregnant. It’s a good example of a phase of life which could be—can be—extremely potent awakening material. If you go to the general internet to try to make sense of it, which I did plenty, it’s described merely physically, and distraction is usually encouraged.
To me, this period of waiting between an act toward conception and discovering if you are pregnant or not is one of the deeper invitations life offers us.
It stood out in a meeting with a client a while back. She was close to giving birth after a conception journey that lasted over two years. Her presence was breathtaking: wise, humbled, alive. But she didn’t necessarily regard herself or her process in this light. I thought: the wisdom and humility that comes from this dissolution of the lie of meritocracy in real time—in one’s own body—is the World Leader Energy we need.
I thought: what could I offer to deepen the recognition of the awakenings occurring in our lives as such? Where we might see our own wisdom blooming RIGHT NOW? Instead of hurrying through hard times to get to a fake future where they are no longer hard?
This woman didn’t see herself as contributing essential leadership merely through her presence! We as a culture miss knowing ourselves reconstituted as profoundly more real through the devastation of that wild (as in will-not-be-tamed) journey. (See also: The Velveteen Rabbit.)
To be in the conception season is to be in a dance with God Herself, Mystery Themself, Love Himself, and we’re googling it on the internet, finding some empty, depressing healthline dot com advice about eating protein and distracting yourself. Those are perfectly fine activities, btw, but I propose there are some more vibrant additions to the two-week wait. This experience is one of (all experiences are) sacred contact with Life Itself, but only if we slow down enough to perceive the sensations of the contact.
The vulnerability of it is phd earth school level. Let’s give it a ceremony AT THE VERY LEAST.
IT IS POSSIBLE
we could be inside the two week wait while understanding ourselves as receiving a deep opportunity to spiritually mature. By which I mean, pray for our own willingness to have Life move our lives way out past our understanding, because that is the place from which the deepest love pours.
IT IS POSSIBLE
that we could be in a hospital we didn’t want to be in, having a c-section we didn’t want to have, while knowing every moment of it is sacred encounter with Life, as Life.
IT IS POSSIBLE
that we can FIND THE BOW to THE WAYS our lives did not go HOW We wanted or imagined. bowing has a way of reaching into the past and future and transforming what happens there.
The bow is the key. The bow transforms suffering. Trying to avoid or get suffering to stop is a big part of the suffering. When we bow to it, it transforms. When we become willing, it transforms. It transforms into our actual lives, it transforms into being precious just as it is. Lately I’m calling it spiritual physics.
I have become willing to be audacious by insisting that this is possible.
The reason I know this is possible is because I have experienced it myself, only through the grace of many audacious people who have insisted this is possible before I did. No one else can tell us where and how to find our bow to what life is offering. Our bow is the perfect yin shape to the yang of our life circumstances and no one else can find it for us. We can, however, tend hearths for each other, cultivate conditions for each other to remember our own audaciousness.
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I have been in wonder for much of 2026 for new (old) ways I might tend the hearth of this fire of remembering. I’m still offering astrology readings and that is an ever-joy.
And now, here is a new shape also. To be clear, this offering is for everyone, not just people on the perinatal continuum. That path has been such a site of transformation for me, but Life offers endless forms for transformation that have nothing to do with being or becoming a parent.
introducing REMEMBERING RETREATS!
These are one-on-one two-hour retreats held in my pink and gold home the Outer Sunset of San Francisco. Scheduled on Fridays, 11am-1pm, through Fall 2026. (If your circumstances don't allow you to come here, I can likely visit your home in the Bay Area.)
Here, it is my honor to remind you of the reciprocal relationship you are in with Earth, and how much Earth is longing to care for you—audacious, like I said! To be honest, a “reciprocal relationship” is even too distanced for the truth of our oneness with each other and Earth, but there is energy exchange occurring so let’s go with that. Through water, salt, roses, other plants also known as food and tea, sound, words, and beauty, we remind you how to receive from Earth. It can become effortless (because we were born to do it), if there's a bit of willingness and slowness involved.
From receiving, giving flows. The circle is the shape of remembering.
We grant ourselves permission to get weird. Which is in fact not really weird at all, yet still, permission helps! We'll be eating and drinking and talking and listening, with a spirit of openness, willingness for and with and toward life. To try something else other than our impoverished culture's way of approaching Life and Knowing. We transform our lamenting about the culture into a sacred occurrence of culture here and now.
WE BEGIN
with a comfortable seat, a tea of the season is served! A guided meditation. I will read a poem. Your only job is to receive, and to tell me if anything needs to be rearranged to increase your comfort.
As it fits, I will share some touch points of your current astrological season, as a way of entering ceremonial-grade conversation about what is difficult now. The purpose of words in this space is to remember your own knowing that difficulty is Life's way of dissolving what covers your shine. The conversation is for relocating your particular access to being up for what Life is offering. Willingness is the psychic location of awakening.
WE CONTINUE
after the conversation with a foot bath in a large copper bowl. These precious feet! Conduit and connector to all "other" form, continuous with Earth. Salt and roses and warm water. Remembering the vitality of earth energy, remembering how to receive Life, while being Life, through the arches of the feet.
WE CLOSE
with a light meal, as your hunger dictates. If not you get to take it with you. Eating as another way of contacting life. Keeping it humble (lunch time!) and integrated into the everyday. Centering it all right inside the body. Then setting a light intention, a prayer, and goodbye, walking out to meet the open air.
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I bow in appreciation and excitement to you for whom this resonates! You can sign up for one in November here. I’m offering this at a learning rate through the fall, $150 per session. Please write to me with any questions. For now I think it’s best to sign up for this if you’ve already had a reading with me or through referral from someone who has. Email me first if you want to do this but haven’t had a reading with me: sf@existingtogether.com.
Either way, any way, may you remember your continuity with Earth today!